It's interesting the patterns and phenomena we tend to see when we take a step back from the canvas of our own lives and begin to look at our own lives objectively. I have spent countless hours looking after friends, giving rides, sitting in the Emergency Room, texting, and whatever else my "friends" have needed. I have spent that time out of some belief that was what a friend was supposed to do. It's funny though. I have noticed that when I need something, when my day is bad and I reach out to them for help none of them ever have the time to help me. A friend once told me she thought I was "nice to a fault." She said that I had spent so much time putting others before myself that I had never really taken the time to focus on the things I needed.
Well I have come to a conclusion. I am tired of one sided friendships. I am tired of people sucking on me and never giving anything back. I am tired of "friends" who only seem to call when they need a ride somewhere or need someone to coddle them after some problem with some relationship or whatever it may be. From now on, unless I believe you would willingly help me whenever I needed it, I don't want you as a friend. I don't want people as friends who are only friends when it's convenient but rather through hard times and easy times. I know that I'm a temperamental person and sometimes that's a difficult thing, but that's why I appreciate the people who have done it for so many months or in some cases years. If you read this and you don't think I mean you, you're probably right, because the few people I do mean know who they are.
